What if?

“You’re worried about what-ifs. Well, what if you stopped worrying?”

― Shannon Celebi, Driving Off Bridges

What if I get sick? What if I mess up my presentation? What if I had done something else, would it have been better? People are plagued with “What if?” s all the time. They worry about commonplace issues like health, finance, up to the most bizarre like drowning, falling pianos. I remember an acquaintance (whose name shall not revealed) who always carried a deluge of pills, antidotes, and medicine to combat the various dangers he saw in everyday life. Humans are sentient, intelligent beings. As such, we sometimes are unreasonably concerned with what would happen.

“What if”s that we think about usually have negative consequences than positives. Think about when we were children. Did we worry about getting scraped up swinging from the monkey bars, or about the dangers of trying new, stupid things? Far less than now, to be sure. As we grow older, humans become conservative and careful. Risk becomes more important than reward, and it leads to passiveness in our behaviors. While becoming risk-averse may not be a bad thing, the current “what if” mindset hurts teens today.

I have a health condition that causes stomachaches and… involuntary bowel movements during times of stress or nervousness. It’s called the Irritable Colon Syndrome. When I was young, I could easily stay hours sitting in a toilet writhing in pain because I worried or was stress out a day before. It became a vicious cycle where worrying about stomachaches caused the stomachaches. My parents took me to the hospital many times for a cure, but all the doctors said was that I should try to relax. After many more such trips, I was desperate enough to take their advice. I refrained from stressful things. I practiced meditation. But most importantly, I stopped worrying about the consequences or unlikely dangers. My bouts of agony in the bathroom petered out, and I’ve been been happier ever since. At least until I enrolled in KMLA.

Living in KMLA is a conflicting experience. Even though every student here would love nothing more than to try out new and exciting things, they have their university prospects to think about. GPA, extra-curriculars, recommendations…. A series of “What if”s hold us back from being stupid and reckless. But shouldn’t we take these last bits of youth and spend it on those foolish things? Growing up and acting like an adult is boring. Mr.Kim, a teacher for Korean History loudly proclaimed “I don’t like how you kids worry. Now is the time to act like children. Do stupid things, and pay the price. Make mistakes and learn from them because rather try them now and not when you’re adults.” He has a point. What if we stopped worrying? People would be happier, I think, free from their fears. Maybe take chances. What if they fail? Failure is an inevitable consequence. But if people can think “What if we succeed?”, perhaps overall, we would be better off.

What if I died tomorrow? Would I die from something mundane as a broken neck, or perhaps from a falling piano? The truth is that no one knows what will happen. Our lives are like candleflame facing a storm, so fleeting and unpredictable. But the uncertainty is what makes life exciting. I was touched by the “What ifs” too, perhaps more than others. But if overcoming the “What ifs” helped me cure my sickness, my fellow students can surely gain the courage to do what they truly want.